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Sunday, June 14, 2009

Eyes, Body Language, Attraction: Some Tips

By Desmond Ray

Look at me: I ve got a case of body language, Freddie Mercury

How to flirt with your body? Human communication conveys 7% of information through the meaning of words, 38% of information is passed through intonation and pace of speech, and 55% of information is admitted only with the aid of mimics and gestures. So that is the case of body language. How can we use it in order to understand the others and being understood? How can we arouse an interest in another person by using body language? Freddie got it right: this is a language for eyes, not ears.

Looking in the eyes. When we are engaged in a business conversation, we are usually focused, and it feels like we are looking straight into the eyes of our counterpart. In reality our eyes cannot stay fixed, they scan the face of a person along a tight closed path: left eye - middle space - right eye, and so on. When we are more relaxed, like, for example, we are talking with a friend, eyes still follow the cyclic path, but it is not that tight anymore. Our eyes scanning his (or her) face along an upset triangle with a base slightly below the eye-line and the vertex at the person mouth.

When we are flirting, especially with someone we are seeing for the first time, the area of our eye scan gets even bigger. The more our sexual interest to the person, the more actively we focus on her (his) lips. Likewise, if the person you are talking to cannot lift her (his) eyes from your lips, while you are chatting on how you first time turned to the idea of dating online (or about your recent trip to Guatemala) rest assured: this person is already kissing your lips in her(his) imagination. Thinking this way is equal to wanting.

Do it as I do. What makes a difference between light flirting and strong desire in a body language terms? If you are really want to get involved with him or her, mimic the object of your desire. When someone behaves similarly to us, we conclude that we have a lot in common with that person. Of course, avoid imitating any negative features of this person, because such mimicking will easily turn into a mockery. In other words, mimic must be moderate, total copycatting will not do any good for you. Even if you are copying the gestures of a person, always take a minute pause before you do your part.

Say Hi with your eyebrows. Lifting eyebrows is one of the most ancient ways of showing friendliness to another person. If you are getting the same in reply, the feelings are mutual. Maybe this was a greeting of our forbears when they were passing each other caves? Languages came later. Now you can use this old way of winning sympathy.

Where the eyes rest. Watching another person movements (hands and feet) is a general sign of an interest. Seem like a trivial notion, but it is one of the strongest statements of body language. If this person (whom you were watching) notices and moves towards you: the interest is mutual. This is a moment when the body language usually turns into a spoken one!

Wink me! If you want to reach an affinity with someone: wink to this person. Do this several times, just as much as you can, but not overdo because you dont want to make an impression that you have developed an eye tick. If you are getting a wink back, then the feelings are mutual, now it is time to talk. So, now you know why Match and some other online dating sites are using wink as a sign of an interest.

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