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Friday, June 12, 2009

Relationship Advice - End Conflict With Pleasure

By John Laney

Arguing and fighting can kill a relationship. Is there any relationship advice that can help?

Yes! And some of it can be very fun. But before we get to that, you should know that fighting is natural and normal in relationships. Two healthy adults with differing values and viewpoints and experiences will occasionally disagree, argue or fight. Its gonna happen.

There is much you can discover about how to resolve conflict healthily, and how to fight fair. However, this article is not about that. It's about how to stop fighting at the source. It is actually possible to stop most fighting and arguing before they even arise?

Well, often times, there is! Here's what one study done on couples learned:

Play can stop fighting at the source. The more play in your relationship, the less arguing.

Is that simple or what? The more play you have in your relationship, the less likely you are to argue and fight about the little things. And the more likely you are to deal with the bigger things in a healthy way. It just makes sense, doesn't it? If you play together often, then you will be less stressed in your life and less likely to get mad about all the irritations that come up in life and in relationship.

So some powerful relationship advice is to put more play back into your time with your mate. The more play you add back in, the more relationship help you are giving yourself. You'll notice less fighting and conflict.

So consider this question if you want to stop conflict at the source: How much do you play with your mate now? What do you both do together that you really enjoy? And, how frequently do you do things together that you both have a good time with?

In the beginning of our relationship, we played a lot. We went to dinner, movies, on long walks. We did lots of things together that we both really enjoyed. But then, as time rolls on, we may have got filled up with the pressures of family life and making a living and stopped have much fun with our partner. It's easy to see that the less play, the more fighting.

The play is gone, leaving irritation and upset.

The study found that the more conflict there is, the less play there is in general. To reverse this, follow this happy relationship advice: spend more quality time together doing what's fun for your both. Just one date night a week can change things for the better. When you do, you'll see that it is a very realistic method to stop fighting at the source and add love!

It's a happy way to stop conflict, don't you think?

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